Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
