Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
