party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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