I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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