I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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