So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When are your genitals available?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
