is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize