she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Holy shit dude........stairs
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
