she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
