i wish peter jackson would direct porn
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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