what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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