Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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