So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
