you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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