Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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