i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize