What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
