I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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