When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.