What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.