you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
