More tranny stories later!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked