I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...