I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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