I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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