Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is Oprah even human
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
