I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
