nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
