I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
