Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
