About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
