Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
