remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
