It's Friday. Sex?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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