Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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