1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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