I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
