Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
