I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
