My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
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