Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This is not my ceiling
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
