Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
