Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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