so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
