its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im holly from the hills drunk
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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