I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
