Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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