when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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