Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
