your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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