thus making me awesome and them whores
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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