So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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