Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
