My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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