My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
