Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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