so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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