she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
