i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
