Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She's the barista slut.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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