you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
