True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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