i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
