I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
