so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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